One of the most ridiculous e-mail forwards I've seen in some time:
*Three **Bullets*
>
>
> **With God all things are possible*-Matthew ** 19:26 *
>
> There once was a man who had nothing for his family to eat.
> He had an old rifle and three bullets.
> So, he decided that he would go out hunting
> and kill some wild game for dinner.
>
> As he went down the road, he saw a rabbit.
> He shot at the rabbit and missed it.
> The rabbit ran away.
>
> Then he saw a squirrel and fired a shot at the squirrel but
> missed it.
> The squirrel disappeared into a hole in a cottonwood tree.
>
> As he went further, he saw a large wild 'Tom'
> turkey in the tree,
> but he had only one bullet remaining.
>
> A voice spoke to him and said, *
> 'Pray first, aim high, and stay focused.*
>
> However, at the same time, he saw a deer
> which was a better kill.
>
> He brought the gun down and aimed at the deer.
> But, then he saw a rattlesnake between his legs about to
> bite him,
> so he naturally brought the gun down further to shoot the
> rattlesnake.
>
> Still, the voice said again to him, *
> 'I said, 'Pray, Aim high, and Stay focused.'*
>
> So, the man decided to listen to God's voice.
>
> He prayed, then aimed the gun high up in the tree,
> and shot the wild turkey.
>
> The bullet bounced off the turkey and killed the deer.
[huh???]>
> The handle fell off the gun, hit the snake in the head, and
> killed it. [um...]
> And, when the gun had gone off, it knocked him into a pond.
>
> When he stood up to look around,
> he had fish in all his pockets, [Well, of course.]
> a dead deer, and a turkey for his family to eat.
>
> The snake (Satan) was dead simply because
> the man listened to God. *
>
> Moral of the story:* *
>
> Pray first before you do anything,* *
> aim and shoot high in your goals,* *
> and stay focused on God.*
>
I guess I give them credit for resisting the urge to tack on a bunch of guilt-tripping at the end about "If you love Jesus, forward this. If you regularly slaughter babies as satanic sacrifices, delete it." I guess this e-mail was originally written by someone who thought it would be inspiring??? And here's the kicker - apparently there are some people I know who DID.
I can't take this kind of thing before 11 on a Monday.
3 comments:
Do you remember my idea of creating an e-mail forward with a Christmas story about how a reindeer was present at the manger and that's how they got the ability to fly? Well, Jill rented an animated Xmas special for Cannon that stated Santa's magic bag was made from the "swaddling clothes." I thought my idea would be funny to see how many times it got forwarded. Now, I'm thinking it might be publishable.
Aaron, I'm definitely in favor of your creating such a thing. I think it has potential.
I beg you to forward that and put, at the very end, "Every time you forward this email, God kills an African baby."
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